Friends laugh when I say this, but when I show them my pictures when I was younger, they stop and say...
|SEE I WAS THINNER BEFORE!!!|
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU???
Well I don't know either. I guess that's part of being an ilusyonada. Up until last year, I really thought the fattest I got was "chubby" or "voluptuous" and not down right morbidly obese. I was a pretty cute kid.
|Who wouldn't like a kid like this???|
|Feeling artista. :)|
Growing up, I never really thought about losing weight because when I was a kid, I remember gulping down vitamins after breakfast because I was malnourished. Yep, it's true. I was MALNOURISHED.
|This is the fuck I gave.|
Fast forward to my teen years I was adding and adding more pounds than I could remember or care. I guess the vitamins worked hyperdrive through adolescence..
|It begins. See all the fatssss??? My brothers and me.|
During high school, it wasn't that bad, I just felt I was "meatier" than my friends.
|Yeah yeah, doon't mind the style. Just the curve. There are curves!!!|
|Oh gawd. What was I thinking with|
Prom came and I wasn't even worried about looking ugly and I think I looked quite alright, despite my quirky color palette of pink and orange. (Check out my picture above.)
College came and people said I looked sexy because of ze boobs. So I let go of the thought that I was fat, just "boobsie". See what I did there? Ilusyonada talaga.
|Asian pose FTW|
I'm happy that my face doesn't really get bigger even though my waist is as wide as a wall, so most pictures I take are just face pics, or I have people in front of me.
|Nobody knew the fat I hid|
behind these pics! haha.
|Hiding behind my waaaay sexier cousin.|
|Hiding behind momma that's lost A LOT OF WEIGHT!!!|
Later on, more and more people kept on saying, "maganda ka naman, papayat ka lang." (you're beautiful already, you just need to lose weight.) That should have been a blazing warning to me already but noooooo. I had to dwell in my sea of denial.
|Seriously Mac, didn't you notice how big you were in this pic???|
I browsed on some pictures and realized that while brothers and mother were getting smaller, I was compensating for their lost fat!
|My brothers a lot smaller than me. Ugh.|
Funny thing was, I was convincing myself that I was just fine, coz no matter how big I get, I still have curves. (yeahright)
|Curves. You're doing it wrong.|
I tried losing weight but after 3 days of jogging and getting tired, getting jealous of my brothers eating the yummy food, of buying smaller sized clothes thinking I will fit into them someday, I just gave up.
But now, a promise is a promise. I HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT AND GET HEALTHY!!!
Last time I checked, I was 200 lbs. And that was the start of 2011. Who know how much I weigh now???
I must get the courage to get on the scale so I can know just how much pain I'm going to suffer for this. Haha.
WHAT I SHOULD DO:
|I'm excited about this.l It's like an art project. :)|
I have this space in my walk in closet where I want to put an inspiration board for losing weight. DO IT!
|I bought them coz they're pink. Not really for running..|
I bought trainers for jogging. USE IT!!!
|I have actually read these before, but just found them entertaining. TRY TO LEARN MAC!|
I bought these books to have better knowledge on what I am about to do. READ IT!
Whew. That's a lot. I'm so pumped up for this, I just hope I get it done right!
My dear friends, if you have any suggestions on what else I should do, please post them in the comment section! I really need all the help I can get so I can finally get healthier. I'd appreciate all kind of comments!
So now it's not to GET THIN. It's to GET HEALTHY. :)
Damn. It's late. Technically it's January 3 already but y'all know I didn't miss a day right? Right? haha.
Off to an early start tomorrow! Hopefully I can start on that jogging bit.